I read some of my back entries and I am finally noticing that this whole journal has mostly been about the same guy...that I started writing here more because I was writing about him and how I love him and how he can't love me back...

I find this strange because he has just left me again and I was drawn here and I have read the history of us and it just keeps repeating, repeating, and repeating...

For 5 years I have been swooning over him, crying over him, waiting for him...and he hasn't changed one bit in all that time.

And in all that time I still don't have the strength to just say fuck you and move on.

All this time and I still love him like crazy.

I am such a fucking loser.